not cool.

I should probably learn how to tell people how much I appreciate their genuine friendship, I mean it's going to be key in two weeks today, right? But I really can't grasp it. There are some people that probably couldn't understand their importance to me, but I don't know how to put it into words without being laughed at for a while, and then again for a while longer - quite a probable result to be honest. I should also really figure out how to make the hug a little less awkward, like why can I not hug my friends with more than the pathetic one arm? No one likes the one-armed hug, let's be real. But no hug is worse. I'm such a bad person. It should come naturally. I'll work on it, perhaps write a speech or something to each individual that I actually like. Pfff, I don't know :')

"In the game of life it's a good idea to have a few early losses, which relieves you of the pressure of trying to maintain an undefeated season"

"without money we'd all be rich"
This is so falsely true.
(you've got to love oxymorons - if nothing else anthology-related!)

     Sometimes, I'm all you have; I can brighten any dull thoughts, yet mislead you so easily. Sometimes, you're easy to persuade - too easy, actually. I can be that little thing you turn to in the end; and I can shape your dreams that night. I only try to make your visions more pleasant, so it kind of sucks when you catch me out and learn that often these tweaks make them unrealistic. I am optimistic, and slightly deluded. I've been with you since you started being able to think for yourself. I am the risk you may go for - sometimes you find yourself choosing me over what really makes sense - sometimes you follow your dreams, not your mind. I can make you believe; I can play with your head. I'd like you to accept that sometimes I can't be trusted, but that sometimes, taking a chance can be a good thing, and can lead you to great things. So yeah, I'll actually be travelling with you all your life, I'm affraid. Oh, and if you want to know what to address me as, just call me hope.

You again.

     I really loved this series of photographs, until the 7th one which then leads onto the last. As much as I like the photo itself, the whole concept of love being existent in everything is slightly boring now. And the last image that shows a smile, rather than the previous frowns that scream lonliness, suggests that love greatly contributes to a persons happiness. And, although I can believe this to be true, I don't like that people feel useless and worthless without 'another half'', because even when there is someone you can connect with so beautifully, a balance is important, right? So why can't we appreciate the other aspects when love isn't included? Why do we just long to share much of our time with one person that we'll spend the little time we get with friends - genuine and constant companions - insulting? I just don't agree that love is always the source to happiness - there are other things that matter too, the people you were glued to before just the one. This is not at all directed to anyone, most people are ok at the moment, actually.

This, though...
No, it's cool. It's aimed to someone that'll never read this and that could never upset me. It's just something you said that shocked me a little. Although you probably don't take it so seriously, you have a role of high responsibility. Previously it had been handed to you on a plate a bit, so you may not understand all that needs to be arranged, but really - as amusing as it is for the first minute, it becomes cheek-reddening. That it's repeatedly become a problem suggests you should look into it, no? And I don't think you recognise the humiliation we'd have to live through with its immediate impact, before the shouting we'll have to endure.

....and not cool.
Although you may enjoy passing judgement on people so frequently and harshly, you may want to consider your own position first, so that 'retaliation' cannot be used as the way to describe to later actions... didn't think this one through, did you?

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle.” Plato.

I thought I'd find a clever little quote for this one, and it turns out it was said by a clever man, Plato - a Greek philosopher (yup, that's totally relevant..). I kind of agreed with what it said too, you know, thought that was pretty imporant. Although it may be hard to believe, it probably is true in many situations. I've recently developed new friendships that have broadened my friendship group, something that was well needed after deciding that some of my close friends kind of sucked. I found that listening to different people and chatting and laughing with them allows you to learn about so much more. You hear so many different problems - real problems - as opposed to the usual "he's such a dick" conversation I find myself nodding my head to at least one morning each week, and then asking (even though I really don't care) "hey, didn't you think this last week too? and then didn't you take him back again, like the time before?". And these new problems you listen to seem so much more significant. It has enabled me to share my upsets too, ones pretty much since year 9. I don't really open up much to people because I find my causes of sadness to be minor in comparison to other people's. But someone, that I've only actually gotten close to recently, allowed me to talk about these pathetic stories, and reassured me that they're no biggies and I shouldn't always look at everything so negatively.

      Seriously, I always end up laughing with you and, your nasty ways are very much amusing, actually! Many people don't understand my sense of humour, but you grasped it straight away. Thank you for listening to me! And for never failing to turn my too-common frown upside-down :). And for literally following me back into town and staring at the same headbands in Accessorize, even after we'd searched there, as well as every other shop, already. And for telling me a method in which I could figure out my true friends, you legend. Oh, and for leaving me to take the cupcakes, I mean really? ;).

xxx

damn you, god. you've made a potentially cheery day really quite pants (notice how it was my only day away from those textbooks and cue-cards, feel bad, you absolute bastard).

morning, sunshine

confession: i can't save a picture/file without an appropriate name.
i'm not one of those people that can leave it at 'fdshjkn'. it just can't happen. it's untidy.

 

It's really tough, actually.  

      I am too fussy for my own good, it's not healthy, even though, ironically, it probably is. It's my taste. The literal sense of taste. The buds on my tongue seem to dismiss a lot, which is often a problem - no one enjoys listening to me complaining about their cooking, I've found. Then there's the style taste. I am too hesitant and fussy when searching for a new pair of shorts, say. I nearly send the item to my bag, before noticing a flaw in the garment. Ah. I need to stop doing that, and move on. Just buy the damn thing, it's so much easier. Although it doesn't always work out that way. More often than not, I'll go to the trouble of taking the pair of shorts back, making up an excuse at the till that it's 'too big', and I want a return, 'please'. See the problems I go through? Over a new piece of clothing. It's not worth it. The worst, though, has to be presentation. I spend way too long perfecting and agjusting things. It lengthens the time I spend on projects drastically and, leads to late nights in which I am left on my bedroom floor, the night before its deadline. And even though I am so aware of it, it's too hard to control and stop it. Eugh.

Only a little, but a lot.